Sweet Adeline

I clearly remember being pregnant with Eldest Son and having this niggling fear that I dared not speak of.  It hadn't been that long since Eldest/Admin had been the baby and my new mama protectiveness and passion for my firstborn was still coursing through my veins.  Finally, one night, I admitted my deep, dark secret to Hubby.  I nearly whispered in the dark, as we watched the in utero shenanigans of ES while E/A slept sweetly between us.  I said, in that quiet tone, 'But what if I don't love this baby as much as I love My Firstborn?  We have gone through so much together; I have grown up through her and her mere existence has changed me forever.  I owe her.  How can it possibly be that I could love another as much as I love her?'  

 Wise Hubby.  He is used to my rants, my self doubts, my fears, and with a sleepy voice he responded, 'You don't take away the love from this one; your heart multiplies, not divides.'  He probably rolled over and slept peacefully while I considered this new perspective.

 Indeed, one second after being introduced to my sleepy Second Child, First Son, I could almost feel my heart enlarge in order to hold this new love.

 And the theory proved true again and again.  Hubby was oh so right.

 Then Grandmahood came into my life to nearly form a whole new heart to encapsulate all the love that is to come.  Miss Vivien started the Gramma Heart within me.  She made sure there was plenty of room to fit all the cousins I'm sure that she knew would follow.  And good thing for that!  Lil Lady cozied right in  filling more of the space in breath.  Funny thing about this Gramma Heart; it makes ones countenance peaceful, ones wisdom honed and ones ability to let major things roll right off the back in order to assist and share life with the beloved grandchild.

 This weekend added a whole new chamber to this Mimi's Gramma Heart.  Sweet Adeline arrived in a flurry of medical intervention to assist her harrowing birth.  Funny thing about harrowing births.  You admire the wee little peanut of a girl's tenacity and feistiness.  You admire your son and daughter in law as they handled the medical emergency with grace and peace.  You view your 'Little Boy' and his Lovely Wife in a new light as they begin the amazing, incredible and scary journey of parenthood.  I could almost visibly see and feel their previous limited hearts, expand and grow right before my very eyes.  A wonderful thing to behold.

 So as we left Sweet Adeline in very capable hands today, silence filled our car as we ventured home.  Picturing her grapefruit sized head in the hand of her daddy.  Sighing with the image of her mama sweetly feeding her with the patience of a saint.  Trying to imagine her growing each day to fill her preemie clothes.  Wondering how to divide up my time to accommodate all my precious grandgirls.......

But I need not fear anymore about dividing up my heart.  That dilemma has more than been taken care of.  I know now that only the time needs to be divided.  The love is multiplied over and over again....


God Bless You, Sweet Adeline.....Mimi loves you abundantly.......

For My Big Grown Up Girl

Today is Admin/Eldest's 31rst Birthday.
She was born at 10:17pm, a Saturday.
Her labor was easy,but her birth presentation was, shall we say, 'topsy turvy'. Two days before her arrival, at our last Lamaze class, the little gymnast turned completely upside down. Nervous looking nurses kept coming in and feeling my upper abdomen, kinda avoiding the very large, swollen, pregnanty part. A trip to the xray department (I know; the 70's...) in my Lamaze sockies proved what they knew, Rhiannon Linda Cory was passing through my very dilated cervix, with her foot AND umbilical cord coming first.

The speed at which they zoomed me to surgery was crazy. Prepping, catheterizing at a lightning speed, charts and cords thrown on the space on the gurney not taken up by my large body, and down the hall we flew.

Looking backwards, upside down, at a very worried looking Mr. Cory waving weakly as he helplessly stared at his life flying down a hospital corridor, I had no chance to even consider what might/could happen.

Post holiday babies, all the hoo haa of those inclined to clamor for First Baby of the Year status had died down. No one really anywhere around the whole labor/delivery department. So when Miss Rhiannon made her very hasty and safe arrival, her parents were allowed to see her rather quickly, in the recovery room, since we were all alone in the quiet of winter in a hospital. It was near midnight of the 7th, when we heard the rumbling of the little incubator that our firstborn occupied. Rhiannon was not due till the 19th so we knew that she would be tiny. At 5 lbs, 11 oz and only 18 inches long, we could only imagine what that was going to look like. Expecting something like a little unfinished kitten or something, around the surrounding curtain of the recovery area, in peeps a very alert little sweetie of a baby. Her big eyes completely open and her mouth working like she was ready to tell us about her amazing journey. We spent an amazing hour staring at the perfection that was her, pointing out all her family's traits. She responded to her daddy's voice quickly; he had made a nightly practice of talking to her in utero for months. We had a blessed family time, the three of us, all alone, in the semi darkness and silence of the middle of the night. Sweet, sweet time.....

Rhiannon came home one week later. We had a the obligatory five day stay for Cesarean then and jaundice in the 70's involved IV treatment under bilirubin lights for several days. A blizzard came and went while we were in the hospital and the name for our next child came in the form of my roommate's son's name. Here I am, five days post-partum, already picking out names for my next child! And I followed through two years later. A cold, cold snap was approaching the weekend she arrived home. Our old house was known to be chilly and drafty so Hubby and I camped out in our bedroom the whole weekend. We cuddled under quilts and napped and rested and stared at this new little life, firmly entrenched between us in our bed and our hearts. It was a lovely time....

Which brings us today, thirty one years later and we still are in awe of her. She is an amazing woman, full of compassion, love and wisdom. We are so proud of all that she has taught us in each stage of her life and probably never more so than in her role as mama to our beloved Vivien and devoted wife to Jon.

It has been a privilege to be her mama.....A role I embraced thirty one years ago and still cherish today....

God bless my 'little' girl.....
LYSMICETY......