Thursday, December 16, 2010

Top 10 Ways to Let You Reach 38 Years of Marriage With No Regrets:

You would think that in thirty eight years of marriage, I would have gotten it.
But no, but no.
I am still learning, each day.
Probably because we are ever changing entities, prone to the variances of hormones, weather, location and peripherals.
That said, there are absolutes.  There are those things that I have ticked off as necessary for survival of this thing called marriage.
Since my Hubby is a big part of my global thinking and wisdom, we sat down, on this day, to peruse, why, how this thing called our marriage, has worked.  Worked well, joyfully and enjoyably despite it's many detours and trials, for these many years. 

Here is our compiled list:

10.  Love is not a feeling.  It is a choice, a daily choice.  So is long term commitment.  You have to establish from the beginning that this is For-ev-er.

9.  Love each other more than your own passions and desires.

8. Accept how your spouse is wired.  Obviously, (hopefully) your spouse is different; that's why you like him. He completes you.

7. Laugh. A. Lot.

6. Grow old gracefully.  Enjoy each other's extra weight and lines and wrinkles as growth rings that you both had a part in.

5.  Acknowledge each other's strengths and help each other with their weaknesses.  Without judgment.

4.  Be crazy complimentary about each other.  Note extra labor, kindnesses, thoughtfulnesses, good judgment.  Be verbal about your compliments and generous with your hugs. Let your children hear you compliment your spouse and make sure you sing praises of your spouse to your children.  Conversely, do not complain and whine about your spouse to your children or others.  Keep your business, your business.

3.  Anticipate the needs of your spouse.  Be the best student of each other.  Know the warning signs of stress and intercede.  Provide a good meal for a long day of work.  Or treat out when that is needed too.

2.  Be content.  Live within your means.  Be frugal.  Be accepting of your financial situation without trying to make it otherwise.  Have dreams and hopes but live correctly in the present.  Be creative and joyful in what you have.

1. Gotta have Jesus in your lives.  Period.  You have to have the strength and wisdom of a Divine, Perfect Counselor to guide you and your imperfect selves.

May you be blessed on your journey......


  1. Landon and I read this together, though our journey is much much MUCH shorter we could not agree more with all that you said. Only way to have a successful and dare I say HAPPY marriage! :)! ...thanks for setting the way for us :)!!!

    p.s. Landon especially appreciates the part where you taught me to be dressed for the day, have some things accomplished, and have dinner ready when he comes home. That is the biggest way that I show him love, and I love doing it!!!!
    You taught me that!!!! :-D!!!!

  2. Thank you, thank you! I can't wait to marry, and by God's good and infinite grace, show the world how good my God is, and because of His order and kindness, how He allows a union such as marriage to work. I feel bad for the world, because it's of no wonder that marriage doesn't work without Christ and His word; where would one begin without a knowledge of his need of a Savior. Thank you, Deb and Jesus!


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